3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
