i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Blood and glitter go together right?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
