She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
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