what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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