fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
