...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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