wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
