That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
