I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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