I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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