How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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