we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
well most of my day revolves around power hour
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
