Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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