I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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