His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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