If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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