it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
