I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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