im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Yo dont text me then not text me
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
