I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
