I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
