At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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