what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
