I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
