who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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