I want to walk on stilts...naked
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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