found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
