Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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