i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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