Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
