Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
