Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
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