What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
