the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
