You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
