East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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