I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You may now shotgun with the bride
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
