No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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