Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Its about making memories worth repressing
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
