im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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