I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
