It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
she peed on how many people?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Randomize
