He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize