Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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