Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
