3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i would punch a child for taco bell
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
