first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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