shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
