idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
