Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
