I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
